Time. An endless question. But not for me. I have come to know that there is never in off time to actually live your life to the fullest. Indeed no time for nothing, not to rest, to laugh, to live, to enjoy, to sing. There just isn’t.
The thing is that i want to do everything; be in band, participate in school clubs, have good grades, get a job, be a good daughter, help the community, etc. Therefore as time goes on, i had a thought: in my life there is barely anytime to stop for a second and enjoy something as simple as a flower, its smell, but not just smelling it, but knowing its smell. But more importantly there is no time to think. So much happens to me everyday, and as i’ve said before i don’t get a chance to even have a deeper thought about something, or to reflex over my thoughts.
The result of this: sadness, confusion, disappointment, anger to self. As i approach the most important years of my life, i have come to reduce my time for everything; my time of sleep, study, eating, resting and, even hanging out with my friends.
These frustrates me so much, because i just want to be the best of the best. I’m afraid that my own expectations about myself will not be accomplished.This thought troubles my head more than anything. It’s just so much to handle, i don’t know if i can keep going like this. And it also bothers me the fact that, as the years go by, i get to spend less and less time with my family. I’m afraid to loose them. I’m afraid that the one person that use to be my best friend now, are getting farther and farther away from me, so distant.
Is there really an answer for these?, no, not unless you die. But otherwise, all its left is: make yourself happy, and once you have that, the huge pieces of the puzzle of life will come together.